Fear factor

<div class="section1"><div class="Normal"><span style="" font-style:="" italic="">Parents get over-cautious as child molestation cases go on the rise in Mumbai </span><br /><br />Priya Jayant never lets her four-year-old daughter Riddhi roam around the house in her knickers. She doesn''t allow her daughter out alone with their driver or any manservant. And she''s taught her daughter to slap anyone who tries to touch her private parts or remove her clothing. <br /><br />In the wake of the recent rape of an 11-year old girl in the city more and more parents are becoming cautious, some even to the point of being hypersensitive, about their young daughters and sons. Says Priya, "One hears of so many child molestation cases these days. It''s better to be safe than sorry. That''s why I make sure that my small girl doesn''t get into any trouble."<br /><br />There are other parents who don''t allow their children to stay overnight at a friend''s or cousin''s place or make their daughters wear shorts underneath their school uniforms in case they fall while playing in school. <br /><br />Smita P looks upon with suspicion all the men who come in contact with her six-year-old daughter, even her husband''s friends. And her husband, she says, is equally suspicious. "How else can one make sure that one''s child is safe? There are so many cases of <span style="" font-style:="" italic="">chachas, mamas</span>, elder brothers and even fathers abusing children. There''s no one you can trust. So I''ve advised my daughter to report back if anyone tries to touch her inappropriately," says Smita. <br /><br />But how does a six-year-old differentiate between a proper and improper touch? While it''s better to play safe, being hyper-cautious can also take its toll on children, many worry. Explains counselling psychologist Shalett Fernandes, "Hyper-caution just confuses children. Before the third-fourth standard, children anyway don''t understand these things. When the children are eight-nine years old, parents should tell them about different kinds of touches and teach them to report back to them if any incident makes them uncomfortable. But teaching your children that the world is bad isn''t helpful at all."<br /><br />Most psychologists believe that this caution stems from the common belief in our society that if someone makes a pass or rapes a girl, it is she who is inviting trouble by wearing skimpy clothes or working late at night. The onus of protection lies on the victim, thus making him/her shameful or guilty about being molested. Therefore, it is healthier that parents discuss these issues openly with their children, say experts. Concludes counselling psychologist Varkha Chulani, "While creating paranoia is not the answer, every child should be taught that their bodies are precious and that no one has the right to intrude into their private space. In fact, most children should also be witness to the affection and intimacy between parents and view sex as a positive and healthy bond too."<br /></div> </div>